Leading Women: Learning From Another

PHotography by hannah robinson design

About 6 years ago I took a chance. This leap of faith led to something greater than I could have imagined. It was a Wednesday night, the exact date, I can't recall. But what I do remember is this: I heard the voice of God as clear as day while in the worship portion of a Wednesday night service at the church I attended in college. In the middle of the third song, I heard God say:

 "Crystal, I want you to talk to Tandra after the service about worship."

(Side notes: I sing and play guitar. I've led worship before but in that moment I wasn't. Tandra is the worship director.) 

"God, I think they're good.. they seem to have plenty of help," I responded as I looked up at the worship team. 

"I want you to talk to Tandra after the service about worship," He said again.

"... okay, sure..." I finally uttered, instantly questioning my own response.

Moments later the worship portion concluded and a pastor on staff went up to welcome us and share an announcement. This was custom to allow the worship team to transition off stage and attendees to find their way to their seats. 

"We only have one quick announcement tonight and then we'll go ahead and begin with tonight's baptisms before we take communion together," the pastor stated. 

I began getting my Bible out of my purse. and finally looked up at him the moment the following words left his mouth:

"The worship team is currently looking to have auditions for anyone interested in joining their team. If you'd like more information, please talk to Tandra after the service." 
 

I tilted my head back, chuckled under my breath, stared straight up at the ceiling and said (out loud, I'm almost certain)

"Alright! I get it. I'll talk to Tandra after the service!" 

Prior to me talking to Tandra after the service about worship, I had never met her or spoken to her. Doing as God told me to that night led to me auditioning for the team. About a month went by before I heard anything back. When I finally did, God proved himself faithful yet again, by answering TWO prayers I had been praying for years.

Prayer #1: An opportunity to serve in a local church using the gifts he's given me.
Prayer #2: Finding a mentor. 

After a Sunday service, I spotted Tandra walking toward me, the sanctuary almost completely cleared. We took a seat in a row next to each other as she began telling me that she had been wanting to contact me about worship but also had something else to ask me about that she had been praying through. 

"I feel God saying not only that you're suppose to be a part of our worship team, but that I'm suppose to mentor you," she said.

I about jumped out of my seat! I'd been praying for a mentor for 3 years.

Tandra and I would meet weekly, discussing Scripture, worship and life. She taught me what it looked like to be a worshipper. She taught what being a part of a worship team entailed; the ins and outs of leading others in worship. We prayed together, read together and of course, worshipped together. We ate together, and had way too many Starbucks drinks together. 

To be mentored by someone means to learn from them. I am almost brought to tears as I type this because memories and lessons learned are racing through my mind. See, I didn't just sit in a classroom with Tandra as a professor with a white board and podium for x amount of weeks to learn the ABC's of being a Godly woman. No, God orchestrated for this God-fearing wife, mother and worship leader to take me under her wing and live her life with someone watching (me). We lived life together. 

Mentorship isn't just about verbally teaching others, but also about inviting others to watch how you really live. It's vulnerability. 

To agree to learn from another means you're learning by listening and watching. She taught me more in the silence (through her actions) than I could possibly list out. She confronted me in grace and love if ever concerned I was wandering or agreeing with the lies the enemy so relentlessly loves whispering to us. 

After graduation, I lived with Tandra, her husband and their two girls for a short season. Remember that vulnerability thing I mentioned? Yeah, well, both Tandra and her husband said yes to vulnerability in their marriage and parenting allowing a freshly out of college, 19-year old single girl live with them. And I learned SO much from them! 

Her and her husband would later be the ones to lead Calvin and I in pre-marital counseling. The things we learned in preparation for our marriage are invaluable. And now, despite the fact we are miles apart, Tandra and Stephen continue to be a couple we stay in touch with and learn from. 

So, can I encourage you to pray for a mentor? He answers. He is faithful. 

And remember, no mentor will be perfect because none of us are. But I believe God knows exactly who is meant to mentor/disciple you. You may be thinking, well I have 2 or 3 Godly women I currently look up to. Great! Continue being intentional to learn from them. 

We younger gals DO NOT KNOW IT ALL. You can't just "do me" and not seek advice, guidance or discipleship from those that have gone before you. We just can't. 

I am now the worship director of the church my husband pastors. I am now a mentor to women and disciple them. My husband and I now have walked a young couple through pre-marital counseling. And we now, too, open our home for interns to live with us. And I know God knew that I would need to learn those things before actually walking in them. 

Discipleship is teaching another what you have been taught. Mentorship is learning from another in order to one day, turn around and teach others, too. You are called to this. We all are. 

Are you ready to say YES to God's command to lead other women?

Calligraphy by Kori rentals & more 

Chew on these verses for the week and we'll meet back here as I conclude this blog series on Leading Women. I'm excited to share personal stories of how I now disciple/mentor women.

If you have any questions, feel free to leave them in a comment and I'll answer!